Machete

Robert Rodriguez finally brings his grindhouse creation to the big screen in this no holds barred, action extravaganza.

Three years ago in Mexico, determined Federale Machete (Danny Trejo) is betrayed and set-up by his boss, resulting in his wife and child being murdered by drug kingpin Torrez (Steven Seagal).  Now, in Texas, Machete resurfaces when hired to assassinate Senator McLaughlin (Robert De Niro), an extreme advocate against illegal immigration.  Once again betrayed and set-up, Machete plots his revenge against the men who’ve wronged him with the help of resistance fighter Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), ICE Agent Sartana (Jessica Alba), and the shotgun-toting Padre (Cheech Marin).

I was so looking forward to this so much, the original trailer that played around the Rodriguez/Tarantino flick ‘Grindhouse’ was a stunning way to introduce this character to the world and it had a lot going for it.  It feels though as if Rodriguez has over complicated his exploitation flick with a story that’s just too convoluted and at times boring.  The synopsis above only scratches the surface as there are other plot threads like McClaughlin’s bodyguard Michael Booth (Jeff Fahey) and his daughter April (Lindsay Lohan) which are just tedious and like some of Robert’s other work, mainly ‘Once Upon a Time in Mexico’, this 90 minute flick feels twice as long.

That’s not to say it’s a bad film, it’s just that it’s a missed opportunity, one that will make me think again about rushing out to see another movie by Rodriguez, unless it’s ‘Sin City 2′.  The flashes of brilliance are of Machete just being a no nonsense guy with a heart of gold and a predication for sharp blades that slice and dice his foe.  Also Steven Seagal almost pulls off what John Travolta did in ‘Pulp Fiction’, coming awfully close to reviving his career, almost.  The action, while digitally enhance with blood and body parts, is very inventive and exhilarating, it’s just too bad there is 70 minutes of boring stuff and very little of the good stuff.

That cast are hit and miss, with Danny Trejo born to play the title character and has never been better.  Robert De Niro does his best with a sleazy senator who is always out for himself while Jeff Fahey is a revelation as the bodyguard assassin who fancies his own daughter.  The actors that come off the worst are the female ones, with Alba being extremely atrocious as the ICE agent while Lohan wanders around like a drug-addled teenager, no stretch there then.  Michelle Rodriguez comes off the best of the female actors but even she has very little to do with a role that could have rivalled Machete himself, oh well there’s always the sequel.

If you’re a fan of the director or the genre then you’ll probably have a ball with this, anyone else should just stay away.

‘Machete’ is out in cinemas now.